THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN

''Until we come to a place where we consciously and firmly put God first in any and every situation, until pleasing God becomes more important to us than our very own lives, we will never become the kind of Christians God wants us to be.'' -S.K. Anso

ECCL 12:13
Now all has been heard here is the conclusion of the whole matter, fear God and keep His commands for this is the whole duty of man.

Life has been a blur for years. I can barely remember anything from five years ago. At a point in time, I tried hard at everything, at another, I didn't give an ounce of effort.I thought I could do it all with enough determination. I tried to be happy at all times, be nice to everyone, step on no ones toes, trying too hard at everything and being too many things at once. Then it begun.Mental torture, it was like my mind was independent of my body and soul. Functioning on its own and playing awful tricks on me. There were times when I felt it was simply absurd for people to mistakenly offend me and not apologize. There were mood swings, anger without reason or cause, carelessness in speech and evil thoughts.
You will sin many times, and then ask yourself and sometimes God,why?
You may disappoint yourself several times, fall into the same pit over and over again, intentionally or unintentionally. But you must know, that, the number of times you fall does not matter if you are truly willing to stand upright and press forward. If, with all your heart, you really want to live a life that pleases God, there is one thing to say, meditate on His word ( Josh 1:8), pray constantly (Eph 6:18, 1Thes 5:17, Phil 4:6) and offer yourself for good works; with God's help you must be willing to practice what is said in the bible (Rom 12:1).

It may take decades, years, months,days, hours for you to see God manifesting Himself in your life, but as you fall into sin, get trapped in the tentacles of temptations, you will begin to rise above sin, if, and only if you are focused on pleasing God.
May God help us all. Amen.